music therapy

There have been times in my life when music is what keeps me going.  It has helped me deal with depression, anxiety, sadness, and anger.  During the years after birthing my son (Bubba), we tried desperately to get pregnant again.  Despite our efforts and helpful (or not-so-helpful?) doctors, and for reasons still unknown and as of yet unexplained, the Lord has seemed to shut that door.  But during those years of hoping and waiting and praying, one song seemed to comfort my soul:  I Will Rest in You by Jaci Velasquez.  I first heard it on the radio and then found & purchased the CD Streams so I could listen to it over and over again.  I have grieved the loss of my fertility.  I know and trust that His plan is greater than mine and if I had been able to conceive again, we would not have adopted CJ who is such a joy and perfect fit in our family!  God is good ALL the time! 

Another song that has touched me in a special way is Your Hands by JJ Heller.  I know I've blogged about this song a while back, but I still love it.  The reminder that God holds us and carries us through has been and still is such a blessing to me.  And yes, it once again brings me to tears.

"When my world is shaking, heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave your hands"  [lyric excerpt from Your Hands by JJ Heller]

More recently, with Dad's cancer diagnosis, I've found music once again helping me.  Comforting.  Allowing me to release the tears that have built up...the ones I try to stuff down and keep from surfacing.  So many songs have already been uplifting and/or comforting during this time of uncertainty. (And really all of life is uncertain, isn't it? We just don't realize it until it slaps us in the face.)

Certain lyrics in songs I'm currently listening to have taken on a completely new meaning for me from what they did just a couple weeks ago.

The song Move by Mercy Me--one of our favorites here--is so much more than just a fun song.  Take time to really listen to the lyrics. 

"This hurt is getting heavy
But I'm not about to cave
Everything is about to change
There's gonna be brighter days
I just might bend but I won't break
As long as I can see Your face

When life won't play along
And right keeps going wrong
And I can't seem to find my way
I know where I am found
So I won't let it drag me down
Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway"  [lyric excerpt from Move by Mercy Me]

Another song, From This One Place by Sara Groves, has taken on new meaning for me.  I recommended this song to a friend just a few weeks ago after she shared with me that a few different people in her life had recently lost a relative to cancer. {She herself lost her mother to cancer a few years ago, so she knows and understands the pain of that loss.} It's the tough stuff of life. I never dreamed I'd be needing this song's message to help me through the same sort of dark valley so soon myself.

"I don't know what's making me so afraid
tiny cloud over my head
heavy and grey with a hint of dread
I don't like to feel this way

take me back to a window seat
with clouds beneath my feet

from this one place I can't see very far
in this one moment I'm square in the dark
these are the things I will trust in my heart
you can see something else
something else"  [lyric excerpt from From This One Place by Sara Groves]

I don't know about you, but I'm sure thankful that God can see "something else."  That He "knows the plans [He] has for [me/us]" and that they are "plans to give you a hope and a future." {Jeremiah 29:11}

As Thanksgiving approaches, know that I am thankful for those of you who will walk through this valley with me and my family. Your prayers and support are a huge blessing and I thank God for you.

Have a blessed and happy Thanksgiving.