multitude monday

is it monday again already?  i just about forgot i was going to start posting again today!  here we go...
if you want to see my other multitudes on mondays posts, they began on mother's day with this post.

54. holiday weekend in Duluth with just my hubby!!!   (Thanks AGAIN to my parents for making it possible by taking the kids.)
55. yarn shops!  and getting to shop at 4 in one weekend!  WOOT!
56. a mall to shop at too!  (can you tell we live in the middle of nowhere?)
57. my new purse in a lovely shade of PINK! yes!
58. a couple new outfits too
59. new clothes for my man as well
60. finding a fun gift for hubby's dad (his early b-day/father's day gift)
61. did i mention yarn shops?  well, i should have mentioned my beautiful new yarns and needles too!
62. going out to the movies with my man--we saw Thor, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, and Kung Fu Panda 2 (in 3D).  and yes, we enjoyed them all.
63. coming home
64. hugs and kisses from my boys
65. my hubby's 45th birthday
66. getting our Bible Bee box on Friday (exciting!!!)
67. dinner with my inlaws (to celebrate their eldest son, of course)
68. the first day of summer swim lessons (today)
69. finding out there's another boy in bubba's level who's "behind" on swim lessons so he's not the only 11 year old in level 4
70. time to knit while bubba was in lessons because cj was being such a good boy
71. planting raspberry plants that were given to me (actually, we were originally getting them for my mom, but she let me have them since she already has a few plants and i didn't have any yet)
72. going for a walk with my little man, cj, to try and find monarch caterpillars (no luck this time)
73. finding tadpoles in our front ditch instead!
74. being the kind of mom who catches tadpoles--eight in all--so we can watch them grow legs

75. accidentally catching THIS while trying to get tadpoles and being thrilled even though we didn't know what it was

76. learning that it's a triops (i couldn't find any info to tell me if they are native to minnesota though)
77. going for a family walk and seeing all kinds of wild strawberry plants in blossom.  (gonna have to keep my eyes on those for berries!)
78. pizza
79. falling asleep to the sounds of a gentle rain and distant thunder
80. waking up to the sounds of birds (the one rather loud and crazy bird that has a bunch of different calls was kind of annoying at 4:30am, but otherwise it's kind of a nice way to wake up)

 
On a side note: I decided to put the tadpoles and triops in the same container.  Mr. Triops (as he's been dubbed) eats mosquito larvae and other stuff like that so I'm hoping he'll clean out any bugs from the ditch water we collected with these critters.  Hopefully he won't be hungry enough to eat the tadpoles! Not sure he'd do that, but you never know...

 

They seem to be getting along well enough, but it's only been a few hours. 

thirteen

lucky or no, thirteen is how many years i've been married to my best friend.  and yes, after 13 years, we're still the best of friends!  i love love love my man and am so very thankful the Lord gave me such a wonderful husband! 

happy anniversary to my sweetheart!  i ♥ u!

4.18.1998

i've put off posting this today because i'm bummed that my man had to leave today.  i'm not talking about the normal go-to-work leave here.  i'm talking about the my-hubby-has-to-go-to-the-cities-7-hours-away-and-won't-be-home-until-thursday-and-i-have-to-spend-my-anniversary-alone-with-the-kiddos kind of leave.  it stinks--at least we think so.  you can take my word on that.  but he had to go for some work-related classes or workshops or whatever they are.  so i understand.  really.  i do.  in my head i do.  but not so much in my heart which tells me he should be here spending our special day with me! 

so what did i do all day?  let's see.  i spent the morning here at my computer.  mostly just doing some perfectioKnits-related stuff and Facebook. and dripping on occasion.  after lunch, i decided to distract myself a bit and did a little baking.  had to use up my nearly black bananas before they weren't usable, so i baked a batch of banana "muffins" for cj who doesn't care for cherries.  {just used the same recipe and baked in muffin cups!}   and then a double batch of my mom's banana-cherry bread.  yum!  the house smells wonderful!  i just wish i hadn't bumped the top of my arm on the edge of the oven as i was reaching in for the bread pans.  yowch!  that hurt.  still does a little.  i used an ice pack to cool it down and it doesn't look like it's going to blister.  still not really sure how that happened.  i'm usually VERY careful when baking!

after my baking, i turned the computer back on and did some more perfectioKnits-related business {found some buttons that i think will be perfect for some of my items. good price.  ordered 2 kinds in lots of 100.  so excited that they're coming from the UK!}

we finally decided on ramen noodles for tonight's dinner. 
[yes, mom, we'll manage.  i even have chicken thawing in the fridge for tomorrow.]
and now i'm back on here writing this while the boys are deciding which movie we're going to watch.  i think they've decided...so it's time for me to go!

my week in review

i was on the phone last night, talking to my mom, when i heard the cutest thing...cj was singing "twinkle, twinkle, little star."  (he doesn't often sing all by himself.)  i wish i could have captured it on video!  but i did manage to get him to sing it again for grandma, who also thought it was incredibly adorable!

(a sort of recent photo of cj...dressed up like a pirate for the day!)

otherwise, it's been a rough week for us.  parenting can be so hard sometimes.   cj has become the pickiest eater i know.  things that he would eat--and even liked!--6 months ago are suddenly "yucky."  i know this is a relatively normal stage for a 4 year old.  he's asserting his independence and all that.  but the kid has been living on junk food for too long.  and he is old enough to understand when he's doing something he shouldn't--like disobeying his parents. so we now have a new family rule regarding meals.

you eat what we eat or you wait until the next meal where you will be offered either a repeat of the meal or something equally healthy.  (no more skipping dinner and then eating a poptart for breakfast! ha!)

and that means no more making separate meals for each of the kids unless we're eating up leftovers.  that goes for bubba, too, who hates pizza!!  so on monday night when we had pizza, bubba had to eat a little sliver of it too. and he did! (and it didn't kill him...go figure!)  after he ate his required amount, we allowed him to make himself a piece of toast (with yummy nutella on it!) to supplement.

same rule applies to cj, but he has been a bit more stubborn about it.

cj has never "liked" fruit or even juices.  but then again, he's rarely even tasted any!!  and the veggies he used to eat have slowly become foods he won't touch.  so this week's battle was basically over peaches.  we wanted him to just give the peaches a try.  NOPE.  this kid would rather starve than eat a tiny piece of canned peach.  in fact, he only drank water all day Thursday!  (all it would have taken for him to eat something else would have been to try the peach.)  anyways, after reading Dr. Dobson's advice about this issue in The New Dare to Discipline and checking out the Sonlight Forums to see what other parents do in this situation (i knew someone else must've been through something similar and chatted about it out there--sure enough! lots of parents had been discussing the same type of situation just last year), i knew we were on the right track. but i could see that my son is just stubborn enough to not eat for days.  after much consideration, i decided to try a compromise.  instead of eating a piece of peach, i asked if he would just taste the juice from around the peaches.  he agreed to taste the peach juice.  with his water in one hand a spoon that had been dipped in the peaches in the other, he did it!  and he even said "it's not so bad!"  (but he wouldn't go for any more.)  i know it might not seem like a big accomplishment.  but to us it's a beginning--a breakthrough of sorts.  i'm just praying that he gets used to the idea of trying new foods--and quickly!

top that off with a second round of potty training him (the first round was a total failure--he was totally unwilling) and it's been a very long week.  but at least he's not throwing a tantrum every time i ask him to go potty this time around!

as for homeschooling...seems we get further behind every day.  so today, even though it's saturday, i hope to make time to do a little catch-up on our read-aloud book Little Britches.  

hope your week was better than mine!!!

on a completely different topic:  11 years ago today was my "due date."  dear, sweet bubba, however, didn't listen to his mama's pleas and decided to wait until the dr. induced her the next week.  having birthed a child--my firstborn son--at Christmastime always makes me think of the Christmas story..."And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn."  Luke 2:7 KJV

stocking stuffer:  baby bubba on Christmas day, 1999...getting ready to go home

i hope you will take time this Christmas season to be a little bit like Mary:  "But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart."  Luke 2:19 KJV  how truly amazing, that "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16NIV

"Life is pain, Highness..."

that's one of the most quoted phrases {i think} from the movie The Princess Bride. it also happens to be one of my all-time favorite movies.


and that one little phrase is oh-so-very true, wouldn't you agree?

my own "life is pain" issue has come to the fore of my mind once again--my seeming inability to conceive another child. i suppose it's due, in part, to the fact that my sister-in-law recently announced that their 6th baby is on the way. i am truly happy for them. it just happens to be a reminder of how much i've wanted more babies that God hasn't, for His {as-of-yet unknown} purposes, given us.

i do believe with my entire being that it was part of His divine plan for us to adopt. and we did! cj is a true member of our family...no matter that i didn't carry him in my womb or give birth to him. he is ours and we are his. but financially, another adoption {like cj's} is not an option for us right now. so my wanting another baby at this point is seemingly pointless unless i'm crazy or i believe in miracles. well, sometimes i do think i am crazy--or on my way there, but i don't think that's why i hope. my hope is in a God who has proven time and again to me that miracles can and do happen. but if i've learned one thing from the past 8+ years dealing with infertility, it's that having faith that God can, doesn't mean that He will.

it's now been over 10 years since i gave birth to bubba. i cherish the memories i have of my one and only pregnancy. i feel blessed, as an adoptive mom, to have a "birth story" to share with other moms. and yet, deep in my soul, is a place of agonizing pain. a place of grieving.

i still feel like Humpty Dumpty after he fell off the wall--all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put him together again.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again!

in 2002, the attempt at having my fertility "put back together" began. i saw doctors and specialists, took a variety of different fertility meds, and endured 3 {or was it 4?} cycles of IUI. of course, i can't ignore the fact that my husband played a huge part in the attempt. it was his faith in God and his love and support of me {even at my worst, most emotional times} that got me through the many ups and downs.

despite all our efforts and wonderful intentions, God said "no."

to my prayer for another child-of-my-womb, that answer was the most painful thing i've ever experienced.

and the diagnosis? "unexplained secondary infertility."

unexplained?!

that's right. there's no reason that they could find. i don't have any explanation to cling to or remind myself of when this terrible desire rears its ugly head up and roars {like it so often does}.

so i find myself still hoping. a hope which inevitably leads to more pain.

i remember when the RE {reproductive endocrinologist} told me at my last IUI, that if it didn't work, his only guess was that there might be a problem with my eggs. and only by going to the next, more costly option of IVF, could that be determined. T felt strongly against doing IVF {its too unnatural for him and i respect that he feels that way}. besides that, we had already spent as much as we could on medical doctors {and our insurance sure wouldn't cover it}, so we instead began the process to adopt that brought cj into our hearts and home.

now i suddenly find myself back on that same road i was walking so long ago. i hate this road. it's such a hard, rocky road, with hills so high they're like mountains and valleys that are like deep ravines you fall into. yet, here i am again. what happened to my nice paved path? it only had a few little bumps here and there, otherwise it was level and easy to travel along. where did it go? did i somehow make a wrong turn? nope. my easy path seems to have merged once again with this more difficult one and i've no choice but to go forward.

to hope.
to pray.
to be aware of God's presence with me.
to hurt and not be ashamed.
to cry.
to love.